you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
