the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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