Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
