hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
