Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
