Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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