I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
