Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I got inside last night via doggy door
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
