i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
