and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
