the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
