How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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