just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
