You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
