I am puke
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
