He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
