id be glad to
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
