You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
