dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
