it's not cheating when I paid for it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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