He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
