The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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