i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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