ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
