Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
