Sponge bath it is.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
