You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Rumble strips road head = magical
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
