she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
