come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize