You really coming over, don't trick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
