Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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