Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
