Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
