my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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