So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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