I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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