? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize