Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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