recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Houston, we have a blender
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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