I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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