I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
