shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
