Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
