Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I fill condoms, not promises.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
