cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
