I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
