I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize