Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
