Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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