She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
