I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
