I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
