Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
