you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
