I accidentally had phone sex last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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