Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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