He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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