i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
