when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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