Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
