protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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