I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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